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princesskellyscastle.blogspot.com ♥
Thursday, March 31, 2005

my almost skinny jeans zipped today!!! lol. i don't think i will ever fit in my real skinny jeans again. the summer between my first and second year of law school, i got really thin. i was taking a LOT of diet pills. i didn't really eat at all. other than the diet pills. i was going through a really rough time, breaking up with my ex boyfriend because i wasn't into it, dating some other guys for the first time in a while, being generally insecure. i got really skinny. i met zack, and we dated, and i think i ate even less and took even more diet pills. i looked great. lol. but i was a mess. then i met joe/broke things off with zack. (zack was not the right match for me. he was HOT but we had absolutely NOTHING in common. he loved HUNTING little animals more than anything on earth. and i think i felt more insecure than ever when i was dating him, which is real bad). well, when i started dating joe, for the first time in a real long time, i felt comfortable with myself. i stopped taking the diet pills. i started eating. prolly more than i should. and i gained back some of the weight i lost from my stint with abusing mao wang and effedra. (Xenadrine). Well, over the time that i have been dating Joe, i really have tried to exercise, to no avail. last year i went to the gym every day from january until may when i graduated. then i studied for the bar and it all went downhill. moving home kicked my ass, because i never work out, and my mom does not cook healthy. i mean, steak and buttered noodles is not good for you. lately i have been real careful. i have coffee for breakfast, much on cheerios or granola during the day, and refuse to eat the steak and buttered noodles that are served for dinner. it will be so much easier when i move out, because i can do my own grocery shopping. but right now, i am in shock enough that my jeans fit. i still look gross in them (they are kinda tight, but they are stretch jeans, so they are supposed to be a little snug). my untoned belly is jiggling out the top. but if i keep eating better, in a few weeks, maybe i will almost look cute!!! i do want to be able to wear a bathing suit this summer, and i don't want to be stupid and endanger my body like i did in the past.
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