Remember the days when you had your very first love? When being in love was wonderful and oh so easy.... I have been thinking of mine a lot lately. That one person that every one else in the world has to compare to.....

I met JC when i was 14 at summer camp. He was the cute older guy. Very different from me. He was a little edgy. Wore ripped jeans and red chuck taylors. Had a scruffy beard. Was a rocker. He played his guitar every day at lunch. I fell for him the day I met him.

He gave me his number one day. I remember the first time I ever called him. I dialed, it rang, he answered, i Hung up. it went on for about 20 or 30 calls. Finally, i said, "hi, is jc there?" he answered "this is". I was all "hey, its kel" and he responded "why have you been calling and hanging up????" trying to look somewhat not like the biggest geek ever, i lied to get out of it.... "That wasn't me!" but he caught me. "Yes it was, I have caller id!! Yikes!!!!" So there it was. After that we were best friends. My first call. If ANYTHING happened to me, he was the very first to know about it. We talked every day. For hours. Early on, I was so much younger than he was. I was a sophomore and he had already graduated high school. So we stayed friends. I had my first bf and he HATED HIM!!!! he was so nasty. But it was because we both had super strong feelings for each other. we always thought we were meant to be together.

So much of my teenage years was spent with him. I snuck into bars to see his band play. He usually told them I was his little sister and they would let me in. My favorite thing to do still to this day is watch him perform on stage. He is amazing. He has this way of drawing me in and keeping me there, almost as if we are alone in a room together.

We tried dating when i was 17. It didnt work. i was too young and not ready for him. so we went back to just friends. when we were together i usually brought jen. he used to comment. o man, it was me and you. and jen!! it was easier for me that way. I didn't know how to deal with the feelings i had for him.

Still we made a promise. "Promise that if I ever turn 30, and am not married, you will marry me??" "of course!" He was the one person always there for me as my safety net.

so we went back to being just friends. well, if you can ever really be just friends with someone that you feel so strongly about. he met my next bf and was just as nasty to him as the first. he's never liked 1 of my bfs.

In college we tried it again. I lived in Boston and he was in worcester. neither of us had a car. can u guess how well it worked? but we still talked every day. i knew every detail of his life and vice versa. I started dating Alex, my ex. He was nicer to alex, but still not really nice. We stayed best friends. I finally turned 21 and could actually get into the bars where his band played. I went to see him whenever I could.

I went off to law school in NJ. We still talked occasionally, but I hardly ever got to see him. He wanted to be with me. I wanted to be with him. But we were 5 hours away. Then I met Joe. and he kinda took the back seat. I saw him over the summer between second and third year of law school. He told me how much I meant to him. I pushed him away. I havent seen or talked to him since.

I miss him so much. i miss seeing him play, feeling like he was singing just for me. I miss looking into his eyes and knowing he actually knows whats going on inside of my head. I miss my best friend that was always there for me. But, with every first love, I had to put it behind me, because it could never work between us. And we could never be just friends. we both know that.

So, if you wanna share your first love stories please do!! I am waiting!!!